I had a light bulb moment this morning. I was thinking about past relationships, particularly an old relationship with someone I liked very much. She was a powerful medium and angel card reader and I was proud that we were friends. We had done some meditations classes together and I attended her classes I loved her energy. She lived in a town about 30 minutes away .We would arrange to meet for coffee and either she would ring when I got there to say she could not come, or ring on the way to say she could not make it.
The first time it happened it was not a problem as such as these things do happen. The second I was annoyed and the third time it happened I knew I had to let go.
So let go I did and just texted her to say when she was ready to meet let me know and took a step back I never heard from her again.
What I learned from that was I had a problem in boundaries and what I would tolerate. I was very lenient and had not respected my time and my energy and of course by default me. When I liked someone I bent over backwards to facilitate them.
This was never a problem until recently and the same thing happened with my cousin. It was not her fault and there was always a good excuse as it would have normally been work turned up for her, but it brought up the realization that I have a pattern in expecting people not to turn up for me. My brother being asked to babysit when the children were younger and refusing. Being on my own with the children as my husband was away a lot so that I could visit him, the pool was small for who it was I could ask. I did realise that he was not the best person to ask in the first place he had no children and is not interested. My Dad came up and took over so I could go and visit bless him.
It was part of the reason the I went solo it was easier that way so the burden of responsibility became mine to take care of everything. How easy we take on extra responsibility and it just keeps piling on over the years. How often do you say to yourself if you want something doing do it yourself!
Of course I do realise it is not true, people turn up for me all the time , networking has helped a lot in that, but the subconscious pattern came up again to be healed and I am grateful for that.
How do you heal these things, well awareness that it is happening and why it is happening helps. Forgiveness is huge part ,forgiving themselves and yourself helps and then changing how you think.
Using affirmations ,instead of thinking that they are not going to show up affirm “people are constantly showing up for me “ or “I love when people show up for me” and what it feels like when they do. Think of an occasion when you felt loved and use that emotion when you using your affirmation. Feeling is very different and the vibe you giving out is warm and fuzzy and felt in your heart.
I will say that appointments with your friends should be as sacrosanct as your business meetings one is not more important than the other.
Have fun with the affirmations and watch who turns up in your life for you!